


Him & I

by Alohoemora



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Suicide Squad (2016), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Blood, Crimes & Criminals, Crossdressing, G-Easy, Guns, Halsey - Freeform, Harley/Joker Loki, I love Peggy, Joker Thor (but not as abusive), Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, One Shot, Peggy is an anchorwoman, Psychopaths In Love, Social Media, Supportive psycho boyfriends, TV News, They're not as toxic like Harley and Joker, Viral murders, crazy love, lip syncing, musical.ly, supportive boyfriends, two against the world, viral videos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 21:04:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13419615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alohoemora/pseuds/Alohoemora
Summary: A new report spreads across the world like a virus, as does a viral video by the newest criminal couple, Thor and Loki.





	Him & I

_**A/N: The first time I heard Him & I, I immediately thought that 1, I fucking love it, and 2 that it belonged in Suicide Squad. Though I hate that Harley is with Joker, since he's a fucking joke (especially Leto's Joker, but I love the other Jokers, and no matter what she looks like, I'll always love Harley.) ** _

_**Forgive me, I tried to do the news story the best I could, and I don't know exactly how long videos on Musical.ly are, I've never used it, but it won't be too incredibly long. And pretend Sitwell is a congressman, not a lying little shit working for HYDRA against S.H.I.E.L.D.** _

_**Also, okay so Loki and Thor are both fucking nuts, but they're in love and NOT related in this story or any other story I'd put them in. And they're not even blood related in MCU, they just grew up together thinking they were, but whatever, sue me.** _

_**They'll be abusive to each other sometimes, but nowhere even CLOSE to how bad Joker is to Harley. They are genuinely in love with each other, as well as insane, and they'd do anything for the other, no questions asked.** _

 

* * *

* * *

 

"And now we go to Peggy Carter for our top story."

Peggy cleared her throat and said "Thanks Ian. A viral video has been posted to social media app Musical.ly, and websites such as YouTube, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, and many others. In only 2 days since it was posted, it's already got almost 13 million views on YouTube, but YouTube, and other social media websites, have been unsuccessful with taking it down.

The video was posted the new and infamous couple, Loki and Thor. The two have posted other horrendous videos, showing other crimes they've committed together. Those videos have been taken down from YouTube after some time, but remain all over the internet.

This new video shows the two wearing their signature faded clown makeup, which has been seen in all their other videos, but this time, Loki is dressed up as Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn from DC's Suicide Squad film. He's also lip syncing to a song by artists Halsey and G-Easy, just before they kill a hostage.

The hostage has been identified as Jasper Sitwell, an american congressman who was kidnapped 2 days ago. Sitwells family was given a note, demanding a ransom of $5 million dollars in 12 hours for his safe return...As much as it sickens me to show this video, we'll play it back for our viewers, in hopes we can eventually bring these criminals to justice.

I have to warn if there are any children present with you at the time, please, _please_ take them out of the room immediately...Watch at your own risk...Daniel?" Daniel, pulled up the video and pressed play.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Loki put a lot of heart into making this video. He heard the song a few weeks back, and after Thor listened to it, they decided it was their song. After kidnapping Mister Congressman, they took him to an abandoned warehouse, and had a couple of their boys tie the weeping man to a chair and to put a burlap sack over his head. Loki wanted to wait before their  _pièce de résistance_ to show everyone who they've got this time.

A few members of their crew are hackers, and they are _very_ good. So they've hacked tons of different social media sites so they can post their video and keep it up for as long as possible. They started with Musical.ly. for the most part, Loki and Thor hate that god awful app, but some of it isn't all that bad. 

So when the time came and their new friend was delivered to them, they put on their makeup, but Loki really wanted to go over the top. He talked to Thor about dressing up as Harley Quinn, the version Margot Robbie played in Suicide Squad. The blond was just as excited as he was about it, and they got Loki's own costume for it, minus the awful blond wig. He even put his long ebony hair up in pigtails. He was a little self conscious about them at first, worrying he'd look stupid or Thor would hate him, but he thought _fuck what they think, I'm cute as hell_. And felt better.

The costume fit him perfectly, though he had to fuss over certain areas, but otherwise, it fit his tight frame perfectly. He knows he's lean for a man, but he's got long, lean muscles, and hardly any body fat, except where it counts.

The look Thor gave him when strutted out, he knew Thor would eat him alive, and he was excited. Though he had to control his excitement for obvious reasons, he was excited nonetheless. When Brock, Thor's right hand man, got the camera ready on the tripod, he said they've got the song ready, and they got in position.

They practiced for it, Loki would jump up, long legs wrapped around the blonds hips, while Thor would keep him up easily. Loki practiced his facial expressions for it too, but they both know it'll be genuine.

Loki jumped up and Thor caught him, and the two smiled at each other, sharing a quick kiss before Brock said "Alright, Loki and Thor, take 1...Aaannnd action!" Before pressing record. Loki used his index finger to cross and **X** over his heart when the song started.

 _"Cross my heart, hope to die,_  
_To my lover, I'd never lie,_  
_He said "be true", I swear I'll try,_  
_In the end, it's him and I.."_

Then he used the same finger to point at Thor, then pointing it at the side of his own head, grinning. 

 _"He's out his head, I'm out my mind_  
_We got that love, the crazy kind_  
_I am his and he is mine_  
_In the end, it's him and I."_

He circled his finger around the side of his head to symbolize the _'crazy kind'_ part, before looking back at Thor's face. The look the blond was giving him, sent chills down his spine. Thor was looking at him like he was the only one in the universe, and Loki was looking at him the same way.

Sure they've had their fights, some that has ended up physical, but in the end, Loki couldn't"t imagine loving anyone else. What's even better is they don't fuck around with other people, but they tease each other sometimes, make the other jealous. But they're faithful to each other. There's nothing in this world he wouldn't do for Thor. And if anyone tried to take him from him, they'd surely be sorry.

After a quick kiss, Thor handed him his favorite gun and Jack, one of their boys, went and pulled the sack off Jaspers head. His cries and screams were muffled by the gag in his mouth, and Jack quickly stood back as Loki aimed right at Jaspers head. He's a great shot. After pulling the trigger, the bullet went right through Jaspers head, and his pleading stopped. 

Loki giggled and Brock pressed stop, before Loki asked " _Please_ tell me you got all of that?"

Brock said "Yep. It'll be up on the net real soon. You wanna see it first?"

Loki thanked him and said they will in a minute before he squealed, saying "We did it!" Looking at Thor. The blond smiled and let Loki take his face in his hands before pulling him in.

The kissed for a couple minutes before Thor sighed asking "Do you have any idea how _fucking hot_ you look right now, Baby? And how can you wear those goddamn shoes??" In a low growl that made Loki shiver in his arms.

Loki grinned and said "Pure talent." Before sticking his tongue out at him. He asked "You really like it?"

Thor groaned and said "I fucking love it, and I'm going to eat your sweet ass up, my Little Monster, that's a promise." Before kissing him. "You did so good, I love you."

Loki smiled and said "I love you too. Now come on, let's watch it and get out of here."

Thor couldn't be happier. He knew the first time he saw Loki almost 4 years ago, that his life was going to change forever. They've had their fights, some that were sadly physical, but despite their differences, they're still in love. Thor would do anything for Loki, and anyone who dare try to take him away from him, he'd make sure that they'll be begging for death.

He can't wait until their next video, whenever that may be, and this one will be really special, because he plans to propose. He got the most beautiful engagement ring from some bitch he mugged while he went out one time. It's absolutely gorgeous, and he hopes Loki will love it. And he surely hopes Loki won't be expecting it at all.


End file.
